Dealing With The Emotions Of Losing A “Team” Member

Column By: DANI SEIPP / BLUE CORD MEDIA – WEST LEBANON, NY – July 20, 2016…a normal Wednesday night. Gomm Brothers Racing was prepping the 18DD to hit the High Banks Saturday night. Unfortunately, the day would end with a heartache no one was prepared for.

That night, the call came, a young family member had killed herself. Race drivers know better than anyone that family isn’t always blood. Caitlin wasn’t a blood relative. She was more of a family member than most.

At 20 years old, Caitlin was a person that was impossible not to love. Her free spirit and devotion to family, even at a young age, was incredible. She was always the first one to greet you with a hug and a kiss, a welcoming presence to anyone who might be overwhelmed by the amount of people who always surround her family.

It is no surprise how outgoing and supportive Caitlin was. Her entire family has those same qualities. Her father, a retired firefighter and her mother, a paramedic, have instilled selflessness, helpfulness, and supportiveness into all of their children. This family attracts people. The young, the old, the down on their luck, and those with the richest of lives, all flock to the Kilijanksi clan.

July 23rd rolled around and the 18DD was loaded on the trailer.

“We decided on Thursday that we were going to the track,” Jake said. “She wouldn’t want us to quit or hold back just for her. We needed to go out and run.”

That night was the first night the 18DD met the boiler plate. However, the driver managed to salvage the night with a top ten finish. The next day, the boys headed down to New Jersey to lay Caitlin to rest.

Many drivers have “a thing”, something special to them. Some have a saying, or a picture of someone special. The Gomm Brothers have Caitlin, riding shotgun in the form of a Prayer Bear. These bears were given to everyone who attended Caitlin’s funeral as a reminder that she is always with them and a recognition of the teddy bear that Caitlin loved so much.

It is a silent reminder that everyone has their own struggles, yet everyone is working towards the same goal…happiness. Caitlin struggled to find her happiness here, but we know she is happy now; watching over and messing with us like any little sister would.

“Caitlin told us that she wanted to see us race,” Tomm recalls. “Unfortunately she never got the opportunity, so when we got the bears after her funeral, I told Jake that she will be riding with us for the rest of the season.”

Following a rainout in August, the final night of points for the 2016 season was Caitlin’s first night onboard a racecar. The following month, she rode with the 99JR Sportsman of Christopher Delfino at Eastern States. Caitlin has been racing with the 18DD and the 32DD ever since.

“She’ll be riding with me as long as I race no matter what I drive,” Tomm said.

For Tomm, the bear will always be an effective reminder

“You can’t give up,” he said. “It doesn’t matter how bad things get. There’s always hope that things will get better. The cliché ‘you have to be in it to win it’ always comes to mind. It drives me to keep going.”

For Jake, he says it’s a reminder that mental health needs to be taken much more seriously than it currently is.

According to AFSP.org, each year, 44,123 Americans commit suicide. That averages out to 121 people each day. While there is no particular “cause” of suicide, it’s understood that it occurs when the stressors in one’s life are greater than their ability to cope and is generally related to mental health.

Perhaps the most frustrating part of suicide is the inability to understand why. Suicide comes with more questions than answers…questions that are impossible to answer.

Gomm Brothers Racing want to remind you that there is always hope and always someone who cares. They will always have their door open to listen, to talk, to be there.

Suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. You’re not alone. Help is always available, and confidential, on the Suicide Hotline, 1-800-273-8255.

This Saturday, July 22, 2017, the Gomm Brothers will be back at Lebanon Valley Speedway with Caitlin, riding shotgun, and the hopes of bringing her to victory lane.